PART 05: Personal Jonah Experience
10 minute read
If you are unfamiliar with the story of Jonah, you can listen to the story here (it will only take 10 minutes). I love listening to the Bible Experience!
Because of all that had happened (not just within the church but also in my personal life), I decided I need a new environment. So I sold everything, told family and friends I was moving to another state, and then picked up and moved. They ALL told me I was crazy and that I didn’t know what I was doing. A few people even told me “You won’t last three months!” Keep in mind, I was still angry – so I used those comments as fuel to push forward into the unknown. One week later, I was living in a new state!
In my beginning days in the new state, everything was great. I had begun attending a new church and had a new girlfriend. But then, out of the blue, the assistant pastor at the new church pulled me aside and told me, “It is a sin for you to date that girl” (i.e., the Caucasian girl I was dating). And, just like that, I was pulled back into the past – mainly because of my immaturity and the fact that I hadn’t yet recovered (or healed) from my first 100+ battles in my home state with this same issue! It felt like as I tried to move forward one step, I ended up moving backward a few steps. And over the next few years, I attended church services but my heart was not in it. Long story short, I became a hypocrite! I lied, cheated, finagled, betrayed friends, chased and hopped, became self-absorbed, and developed malice within my heart – all while attending church services.
WHAT A PUNK!
Pfffffffff……………..WHAT A HYPOCRITE!!!
Finally, I couldn’t take it any more and stopped attending to church services all together. I left Christianity, stopped praying, and reading my Bible.
Fast-forward 2+ decades…
I had a car accident – a really bad one – and ended up in the hospital (e.g., multiple CAT scans, a surgery, etc…). There were so many accidents on the highways that day that there weren’t enough rooms available for everyone. So, there I was laying on a gurney in the waiting area of the hospital after my surgery. I had plastic wires sticking out of my head as I lay there going in and out of consciousness. And then, for the first time in a long time, I prayed. Here’s what I said:
“Lord, I don’t trust men of the cloth. I don’t trust churches or organized religion. I know you’ve placed a call upon my life but I just can’t do it with people around me I don’t trust. I’LL TELL YOU WHAT: If you put a man of God in my life, one who cares about me, not my wallet, then and only then will I serve you!”
Little did I know our Lord would place a man of God into my business to help me on my journey back to true faith in Christ!
NOTE: I used the words “true faith in Christ” because during this low period of time in my life I became “religious.” In other words, I went through the motions but my heart wasn’t in it. If anyone would have asked me any REAL questions (e.g., “What can you tell me about your daily prayer life?”, “What was the last prayer of yours that God answered, and when did this occur?”, “Besides your own wants and needs, who else are you praying for on a consistent basis?”, “In your reading and study of God’s Word, what topics have you dug deep into over the past 6 months?”, “You’ve been a Christian more than five years now, so you’re obviously involved in ministry. Please share with me what it is and how it’s going”, etc..), I wouldn’t have been able to answer these questions and would have failed miserably!
To make a long story short, I am very ashamed of this period of time in my life. However, God was faithful. He kept drawing me closer to Himself, inch by inch. I resisted so much of the time, but He remained faithful!
Eventually, I renewed my faith and trust in Christ and began life anew! Four (4) men helped me in this journey:
• Chaplain Dale Lowrimore
• Pastor Myles McPherson
• Pastor Ray Bentley
• Pastor Steve Brown
What was it – besides the Lord – that got me through this period of time in my life? Here is a brief overview:
1. Repentance. This is something all devout Christ-Followers experience and do – at the beginning of their journey as well as off and on throughout their life. Repentance is a TURNING AWAY FROM those things that take our mind and heart away from Christ and His Kingdom as well as a TURNING UNTO those things which truly matter to our King. So, I repented of my old ways and turned my heart and mind toward Him! In short, I began to focus more on “the vertical” (i.e., God and His Kingdom) and less on “the horizontal” (i.e., people and the things of this world).
2. Prayer. This is where I poured out my heart to God. Sometimes, I yelled and screamed. Sometimes, I cried and prayed softly. And other times, I shook my fist towards heaven. At times, my prayers were only 15-30 seconds long. Other times, they were two to three hours in length! NOTE: I’m thankful I was taught HOW to pray! This is something I see missing from church leadership – and it is something I will address in a couple of articles!
3. The reading and study of His Word. While prayer allows us to speak directly to our Lord, the reading and studying of His Word allows Him to speak directly to our mind and heart! Here are a handful of examples of how His Word speaks to and teaches us, His Children:
• Acts 2:38 reads, “Repent (change your views and purpose to accept the will of God in your inner selves instead of rejecting it) and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of and release from your sins; and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.
• Romans 2:4 reads, “…do you have no regard for the wealth of His kindness and tolerance and patience [in withholding His wrath]? Are you [actually] unaware or ignorant [of the fact] that God’s kindness leads you to repentance [that is, to change your inner self, your old way of thinking—seek His purpose for your life]?”
• Colossians 3:12-13 reads, “So, as God’s own chosen people, who are holy [set apart, sanctified for His purpose] and well-beloved [by God Himself], put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience [which has the power to endure whatever injustice or unpleasantness comes, with good temper]; bearing graciously with one another, and willingly forgiving each other if one has a cause for complaint against another; just as the Lord has forgiven you, so should you forgive.”
• Hebrews 11:6 reads, “But without faith it is impossible to [walk with God and] please Him, for whoever comes [near] to God must [necessarily] believe that God exists and that He rewards those who [earnestly and diligently] seek Him.”
• James 1:26 reads, “If anyone thinks himself to be religious [scrupulously observant of the rituals of his faith], and does not control his tongue but deludes his own heart, this person’s religion is worthless (futile, barren).”
In these six (6) verses our Lord speaks to us about:
• The importance of repentance.
• The importance of faith (i.e., “trust”).
• Baptism is in “Jesus’” Name.
• God’s goodness, kindness and patience ARE NOT always signs of approval, but rather, sometimes they are given to lead us to repentance.
• God expects us to control our tongue (i.e., the things we say, how we say them, etc…).
• Holiness, and much more…
4. Fellowship with other flawed believers. This is what people MISS about church. Many argue against church by saying, “Nothing but hypocrites go there. I’m not interested!” And while that is true to some extent, it’s also true that there are hypocrites at everyone’s place of employment, at all of our hobbies, at the grocery store, etc… But yet we all frequent these places weekly! So, I found that fellowship with other believers (i.e., some who were more mature than me, others who were struggling just like me, and others whom I could teach, encourage and inspire) helped me get through what I was going through – because it allowed me to experience the full gamut Christian maturity!
There was a lot – and I do mean A LOT – that happened during this tumultuous period of time in my life. What I wrote above is only the tip of the iceberg. Through it all, God was faithful – even though I was stubborn, self-absorbed, and blind to my own detriment!
If you have questions or comments, email me here and let’s chat!
Roy
• My Journey Part 01: Where I Started
• My Journey Part 02: New Beginnings
• My Journey Part 03: An Adventurous & Atrocious Period
• My Journey Part 04: Moving Forward
• My Journey Part 06: Finding My Calling and Ministry
• My Journey Part 07: Where Am I Today…
